I wanted to start a blog for other families like mine, but perhaps there aren't any others quite like mine! We are a blended family in so many different ways. We have children through relative adoption, closed adoption, open adoption, step-parenting, and birth. We are truly a "Yours, Mine, and Ours" family. Let me lay it all out for you: I have two daughters from my first marriage. My eldest daughter C was adopted through foster care. We have contact with C's biological sister, but other than that, her adoption is closed. My younger daughter B was adopted through a private agency. We have contact with all of her birth family. My husband has three children from his first marriage. His former spouse had a son D before they were married, and my husband adopted him. He then had two more daughters E and S. We were married in 2005, and together we have little J. Are you still with me? That brings the grand total of munchkins to 6. I'm not sure if the 17-year-old (or even the 12-year old!) would like to be referred to as a munchkin, but that's beside the point.
Let me just make things even more complicated. My two girls are with me full time. They visit their father on vacations. My two step-daughters split the week between our house and their mother's house. I cannot even tell you how long it took me to figure out the parenting schedule. The divorce decree has the "exchange of children" down to the hour on some days. At first, their mother was a stickler for the letter of the law. Thankfully, as time has gone by, she has been willing to bend to what works best for the children. For the last two years, my step-son has lived with his mother full time. We rarely see him. That's a much longer story, best not shared over the Internet.
Blending a family is tough. I have spent many hours, sleepless nights, and teary conversations lamenting divorce and the effects on our children and ourselves. I cannot go back in time, no matter how tempting that fantasy may be. I can only move forward. I focus on the fact that our family is blended, but it is not broken. I hope you will discover the same truth for your family.
